A page dedicated to all of the funny things that Stewart says and does.
This page should grow as Stewart learns to talk. Right now, in June 2006, you will have to take our word that she does says and do lots of funny things. Unfortunately we can’t understand any of it. I am told this is likely to continue through the end of her teenage years, but words will at least help make what she is saying intelligible…Stay tuned.

Alright – it is now October 2006 and we are getting words from Stewart. Some real words (“Mommie, Daddie, Cheese, Night-night”) and some real questionable words. Since the latter are funnier and cuter we will capture those here.

Stewart’s Version English Version

“Moke” = Milk

“Pees” = Please (said while tickling both her shoulders)

“B-Mina” = Banana

“Shears” = Cheers (she’s keen on toasting)

“TT” = TV

“Ding” = her pacifier

“Nakeen” = Napkin

“Carly” = Charlie from her favorite books “Charlie and Lola”

“Wowa” = Lola from her favorite books “Charlie and Lola”

“Coors” = Cars

“Happy Daddy Now” = this means Happy Birthday Daddy but as we found today on New Year’s that she also uses it to say Happy New Year Daddy.

“Mik Mow” = Mickey Mouse

“Min Mow” = Minnie Mouse

“Bye Dair” = Right There

“we-moke” = Remote – the untrained ear will mistake this with Milk everytime…

“upee-si-dawn” = her cute way of saying upside-down.

“bow-bowt” = how about as in, “Bow-bowt I draw a picture now daddy”

“Tanks” = Thanks

Summer/Fall 2007:

“wake up sheepy head” = the response you will get at any time Stewart catches you laying down with your eyes closed.

“Daddy, why you got your belly on?” = question asks when Stewart finds Dad sleeping without a shirt (a rare occassion).

“Cool lip” = white creamy stuff that goes on pies.

“Regulos” = plain (regular) Cheerios.

“Honeys and Hearts and Raisins” = what Stewart calls her favorite cereal: Kashi Heart to Heart.

“Pobly” (Used in a sentence:  “Pobly we will play Chutes and Ladders.”) = Probably. Rarely does this mean “there is a chance” but rather “instead of doing what you suggested we will be doing what I am suggesting.  Not doing so will ‘Pobly’ result in a tantrum of mixed severity.”  Approach the “Pobly” with great care and only do so with parental backup nearby.

Spring 2008:

“Cheer on me” = about 2 times a soccer practice Stewart heads over to the sideline and yells “Mom/Dad, are you still Cheering on me?”

Summer 2008:

“Bo-Hawk” = the practice of standing a middle row of one’s hair straight up when shampooing hair.  Most may also recognize this term as a mohawk.

“Take me a bath” = used in a sentence:  “Daddy, are you going to take me a bath today?”  Simply stated this is asking whether or not I will GIVE her a bath.  The typical response I give is: “yes, I would love to take you a bath.” In which she responds, “that’s ok, I want mom to take me a bath.”

“Columbius” = used in a sentence:  How much farther until we get to Columbius and see Grammy and Poppy?  We usually hear this 15-20 times an hour from her during the 6 hour trip to the promised land.

Winter 2009:

Spatial Time Issues = Stewart is currently struggling with “Yesterday”, “Today” and “Tomorrow” concepts.  Throw “last month”, “next month” and “next year” into the mix as well.  This is the setup to something that cracks Cindy and I up every time we hear it.  At some point we will have to teach her these concepts but we are having too much fun with it now to correct it.  Here’s an example:

Stewart:  “How old will baby Charlie be next year? 1?  2?”

Mom:  “In a year he will be 1 year old.  In 2 years he will be 2 years old.”

Stewart:  “You mean he will be 1 on the day after this day?”

Here are some more commonly experienced examples:  “On the night before this day I heard thunder outside of my window.”  “On the day after this day I will go to school” (this would be said on a Friday.  The day after this day means any day beyond today whether it be 1, 2, 30, 60, 120 days from now).  We realize this is likely funnier to the parents than it is to others.

“I’m not tired” = Said very quickly after asked any of the following questions: “Was that as yawn I just saw?” or “Do you need a nap?”  Often this can be an unprompted response to her out loud yawn.  Example: “aaaaaawwwwwnnnn (a yawn).  I’m not tired!”

“Hamptry” = used in a sentence:  “After you take me a bath (see above for this translation), I will pick the clean up the clothes I threw on the floor and put in them in the hamptry.”  Hamptry = cross between clothes hamper and laundry or maybe hamper and pantry? 

“Harmonitor” = used in a sentence:  “I think I heard Charlie screaming over the harmonitor.  I should go check on him and see if he is ok.”  Nevermind in no way, shape or form is she to check on Charlie when he is sleeping (this usually turns into her throwing stuffed animals into his crib), but the harmonitor must remind her of a harmonica because of the holes along the top of it.  We won’t correct this one for a while.

“B-Tend” = used in a sentence:  “Let’s b-tend we are princesses in a make-believe fairy land.”  As an aside this usage of the word pretend drives her brother bonkers.

“Beat Him Off of The Pants” = this is her version of smack talk.  It gets used specifically when she is about to play her big brother on the Wii.  This too drives him nuts as her Wii character (“Stewiiart”) has been quite proficient at beating his character (“Wiill”) in his favorite sport, golf.

Summer 2009:

“Thinger” = my “thinger” has a scratch on it.  I think I need a band-aid.

“You Took My Mind From Me” = Stewart’s version of “you read my mind”.

Winter 2010:

“Days are better when you can do glittering” – Stewart professes one day while doing art at home (with glitter of course).

Spring 2010:

“Certainly” – Stewart uses this word extensively.  When in use it will always start a sentence, rarely used mid-sentence.  “Certainly, I would like to get some ice cream.”  In many cases it is used to redirect conversation to something she likes.  Dad:  “Stewart would you like to go and practice riding your bike?”  Stewart: “Certainly, I would maybe like to go to the driving range instead.”

“Who is Greece?” – Will and Cindy were talking about places they want to go one day.  Will wants to visit London and California.  Cindy says that one day she would like to visit Greece.  Stewart: “Who is Greece?”

“Mow Lawner” – I ask to no one in particular what is the noise I hear early one Sunday morning.  Stewart replies: “That’s the Mow Lawner across the street in the park.”

“Daddy, when I work one day I am going to work some place where there is a microphone.  You know like at the grocery store or Wendy’s or on a train.” – Good news, bad news here.  Good news is she’s thinking about future employment and having it.  Bad news, she may need financial assistance for longer than is budgeted.

“Will! Get out of my beeswax!” Yelled to Will as he watched her from a window carrying out her punishment (picking up clippings from the bushes we trimmed) for talking back to me.

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