Halloween – Puns, Heroes, Zombies and Skeletons


Writing this post in an OTC medication haze filled with determination to kick this head/chest cold without the use of a doctor or prescription antibiotics – I bring to you our Halloween 2013. Our 11th with kids (yes, I'm counting the first one where we were locked up I our home obsessed with intercepting the looters, uh, trick or treaters, before they rang the dreaded doorbell and woke our precious 6 week old Will. I remember saying words like “I can't believe how late these kids come to the door!” at like 7:15pm and “what makes this holiday such a great big deal, anyways.” While I get a holiday doling out door-to-door candy IS A BIG FREAKING DEAL I'm still slightly amazed at how big of a “holiday” it is for them. Genius is the school district that schedules a teacher planning day for the day after (take a note York County Schools). My youngest carried a costume catalog around with him for most of October – browsing actually became a desired way to pass time. It was not until about halfway through the month of October that we noticed the suggestive clothing many of the models in said costume catalog and promptly called in the scissor censors to G-rate this magazine. The trials of the third child, right? Had it been Will and maybe even for Stewart we would have sent letters off to the publisher and started a Neighbors for Less Sexually Suggestive Costume Catalogs (NLSSCC) campaign. Really though, do we need a provocative Pokeman mistress outfit in our world?

Digression over, back to Halloween. A proud moment for Cindy and me when our oldest looked up creative costumes on the internet (with us closely supervising after the catalog incident) and determined he wanted to be a pun. He wore a blue shirt with the iron-on letters: GO CEILINGS! on the front and BEAT FLOOR! on the back. He carried a homemade pennant to match. Super-clever, however, I think he was a bit peeved by the end of the Halloween evening – he spent a lot of time answering the question “so what are you young man? while the cute mimes he walked with were fawned over (they were pretty good mimes). Thankfully his good friend Charlie (no relation) proved a trusty sidekick with an repeated explanation of Will's outfit. No solo pictures of Will (3-child camera fail) but you can see him in the back of this group shot.

Stewart came up with her costume in August and spent most of the time up until the big day adding to it. It went from Zombie to Zombie Princess and was pretty darn authentic. True to form she disappeared with a few friends and their Moms almost immediately after she realized the pre-trick-or-treating food and sugary drinks were being policed for those wanting seconds, thirds…we saw her a few times throughout the evening with gobs of candy shoved in her mouth. So much for checking it all when we got home. Also true to form, she went to bed first with a case of the “sugar belly” – this is a common diagnosis for Stewart when she has more sugar than her tummy can handle. She's slowly realizing that there's a limit on sugar intake. She may have a sugar problem.

Charlie, as Kai, a character from a show we claim is off the air (too much fighting), tackled the “big guy” house loop carrying his own bag the entire way this year. I did notice towards the end that he'd wait on the sidewalk rather than go to the door and make his loot bag even heavier. Smart dude. Sympathetic to his cause while also considering the loot limit this was putting on candy enjoyment for me, I graciously offered to hold his heaviest candy items in my pockets (and belly). Kai is this guy in case you are wondering:

He's fierce or at least so says Charlie.

One of the things that set this Halloween apart was that nearly every parent dressed up as something too. The best was our neighbor Bryan who went as a caddy for his youngest daughter. Simply a great costume.

Cindy and I came in as best themed dressed up married couple and possibly the only themed dressed up couple at the pre-Halloween Spectacular. By the way, in this reference, 'Pre-Halloween Spectacular' is an event where we order double the pizza required and fill kids and adults with them plus chips, dips, beverages, cookies and brownies. God bless 'Merica.


Last bit on Halloween. Our neighbors up the street came up with a genius idea to pose 2-3 full-size skeletons doing cool and funny things. Everyone in the neighborhood (except maybe their immediate neighbors – traffic woes) looked forward to their next scene. Camping skeletons, football watching skeletons (with a flat screen TV tuned to a game), fire fighting skeletons, and the list goes on. We all loved it!


Well, back to the Sudafed, Benedryl-induced stupor for me. I'm starting to realize at the age of 40 that I a) am a big baby when I'm sick, b) don't believe in colds – sick or well, no in between, c) need a little mothering when I'm down and out and d) can't stand sitting, laying, sleeping for the time it takes to get well. I'd also like to know what to do to prevent this head, sinus, chest crap from catching me every 8-10 months. Any docs in the house? Needless to say, I'm also quite grateful for Netflix. I series-binged my way through “Orange is the New Black.”

Thought it was a comedy, but not so much. It does have some pretty darn good writing, is based on a true story and does hold a candle to the other Nextflix series that I liked a ton: “House of Cards” with Kevin Spacey. Neither is for the faint of heart or faint of foul language as, like HBO, Netflix likes to remind the competing networks that which they cannot compete with – the F-word in bulk. Still, pretty decent series.

Here's a link to the slideshow. Happy Halloween!



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