Parental Espionage?

I’m going to do something here that a) in 10 years might be more appreciated than it will be if discovered by my eldest son now, b) that highlights the special moments of being a parent, c) I’m not 100% is truly ethical but in the spirit of being a priceless parenting moment I am choosing to share broadly (to the 10-15 readers of this blog), d) that concerns me deeply for what may lay ahead in the journey of parenthood.  Allow me to set the stage.  Kids are down in bed.  Cindy whispers, as if we don’t have 3 of the deepest sleepers on the planet upstairs, you want to see something funny that I found in Will’s backpack.  Parental espionage has already started?  Our oldest is only 8!  I cautiously reply: “I’m not sure I like where this is heading.”  This should not be confused with me not wanting to know now more than ever.  She sneakily pulls out this (names have been hidden to protect the rights of the innocent):

Cindy explains to me that these days note-passing is supported by the school in the form of inter-classroom mail.  Why this is necessary in school still baffles me.  Do they pay bills?  Playground debts? Do they get junk mail like I do?  Essentially you write a letter, address it and it magically arrives at the sender’s classroom same day (the post office might want to explore their speed).  Will’s friend, we’ll call her “Susie” decided it was time to send a note to Will getting to the bottom of something that had clearly been bothering her.  At this point I feel it necessary to swear my 10 readers of this blog to absolute secrecy.  At least secrecy when sharing this with audiences less than the age of 12.  Reputationally this could sink “Susie” or worse the subject of her note both of which we know to be fine, upstanding young kids (one of which we can confirm has wonderful penmanship and letter-writing skills). And now the letter:

So many questions from such a short, direct note.  Personally I love how it lulls the reader into a false sense of security and calm.  Just a note to see how you are doing until WHAM! the catch-your-subject-off-guard-technique quickly re-routes Will into a tunnel of “you-can’t-possibly-answer-this-question-the-right-way” directness.  The author, clearly the “heavy” in her circle of friends, has played her cards perfectly and trapped my boy with an unanswerable situation.  Essentially his only way out is the same way he got into this predicament in the first place: DON’T ANSWER HER WILL!  My first impulse, ok, my 3rd impulse after 1) deciding not to immediately tweet it, and b) not screaming “DON’T ANSWER HER WILL” a la Seinfeld with the overhead camera shot, was to run upstairs, wake him from his sleep and tell him how grave this situation is.  Side note: I acted on none of the 3 impulses and instead watched “The Amazing Race” (best show ever – I could totally run the table on that show!), went to bed and woke the next morning and decided to post this instead.  I want to let him know that going the route of the geeky here is basically his only play.  I want to reassure him that no matter the depth of geekiness he falls into here, it will wear off in 20-22 years.  I speak from experience.  Yes, some (Cindy) would debate this and might win the debate.  I also want to let him know we are signing him up for saxophone practice very, very soon.

I find it imperative to reiterate that this story must not be shared within earshot of any child age 4-12 within 2 states of South Carolina.  Their network is just that good.

What else has been going on you ask?  Not much as can be viewed from the pictures below…Charlie finds his way to the top of tables, counters, couches daily without us seeing it happen.  Great parenting.  There’s a post coming about the slackness of raising a 3rd child.  Organic apples are much smaller than non organic (inorganic?) ones.  Stewart finished soccer.  Adventure Guides (see prior post) is going well with a 2nd successful camping trip.

Click here to see more random pictures from our last few weeks.


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